How to Help Your Teen Practice Healthy Coping
Being a teenager has never been easy, but today's teens face unprecedented challenges. Recent research shows that one in five teens has experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. When they're stressed, anxious or hurting, some turn to whatever seems like a quick fix—including prescription pills bought through social media or from a friend that may actually be counterfeits containing fentanyl.
This guide offers practical approaches to help your teen build skills that could protect them. The most powerful protection you can give them isn't lectures or warnings, but actual skills to handle tough emotions.
WHY COPING SKILLS MATTER
The connection is straightforward: teens with strong coping skills are better equipped to handle stress and emotional pain without turning to substances. This protection is critical in today's reality, where pills sold online and on the street as Xanax, Percocet or Adderall may actually be counterfeit pills containing fentanyl.
Many teens haven’t been taught healthy ways to manage emotions, so they seek whatever stops the discomfort quickly. Pills are sometimes seen as safer than other drugs because they come from a pharmacy—even when they’re bought or shared illegally. Some youth use stimulants (like Adderall) to cope with academic or athletic pressures. Pills can quickly dull emotional or physical pain, creating a false sense of control or calm.
Building coping skills isn't just about substance prevention—it's about giving your teen tools that serve them now and throughout life, in a wide variety of situations.
MODEL POSITIVE BEHAVIORS
In your day-to-day life, you need to demonstrate the behaviors you hope to see in your child: patience, kindness, responsibility, emotional regulation, resilience, etc. You’re not just telling your child what to do, you’re showing them how to live. And your actions speak louder than your words, so:
Notice how you manage stress—your teen certainly does
Talk openly about how you handle difficult emotions
Let them see you use healthy strategies to decompress
Acknowledge your own struggles and how you work through them
Be explicit: "I've had a stressful day. I'm going to take a 15-minute walk to clear my head instead of just sitting here stewing about it. It actually helps me think better."
SUPPORT STRUGGLE EFFECTIVELY
Research consistently shows that when children and teens develop problem-solving skills, they’re more resilient, better equipped to manage emotions, and more likely to make healthy decisions.
When your teen faces challenges, how you respond matters:
Instead of dismissing: "It's not that big a deal."
Try validating: "That sounds really tough. I'm here to listen."
Instead of rescuing: Immediately solving their problem
Try coaching: "What have you tried so far? What might help?"
Instead of minimizing: "Just don't worry about it."
Try offering tools: "When I feel that way, taking one small step helps. What's one tiny thing that might make this slightly better?"
Instead of labeling them: "You're being dramatic" or "You always do this"
Try naming the problem: "This situation seems really stressful" or "Friendship conflicts are hard to navigate"
Help them develop a simple framework for tough moments. This gives your child a concrete process when emotions run high. Try this 3-step approach:
Pause (take a breath)
Think (what's really going on?)
Plan (what's one thing I can do right now?)
Use real situations as teaching moments. When problems arise, walk through the steps together: identify what's really happening, brainstorm possible solutions, think through consequences, choose something to try, and later reflect on how it went.
Your goal is to be a supportive presence while helping them build their own problem-solving muscles.
CREATE A PROTECTIVE ENVIRONMENT
Small adjustments to your teen's surroundings can make a big difference:
Strengthen family connections through regular meals or activities together
Encourage healthy friendships by welcoming their friends into your home
Support involvement in activities that build confidence and purpose
Maintain appropriate awareness of their digital and social lives, especially content promoting pill use
Secure your home by properly storing and disposing of prescription medications
These environmental factors create a foundation of support that makes healthy choices more natural.
START WHERE YOU ARE
Before sharing resources or strategies, you need a foundation of trust and communication. Choose an approach that fits your family's reality:
For busy families: Use existing transition times (car rides, before bed) for brief check-ins
For teens who don't open up easily: Try side-by-side activities where conversation feels less intense
For conflict-prone relationships: Begin with small positive interactions to rebuild connection
For highly stressed teens: Teach the 3-3-3 rule (name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, 3 parts of your body) to ground themselves when overwhelmed
Whatever approach you take, respect their pace. If they shut down, say, “It’s okay, we don’t have to talk now—but I’m here when you’re ready.”
And remember: The most effective approach is one you'll actually use consistently.
SHARE PRACTICAL RESOURCES
Song for Charlie offers teen-friendly tools your child might actually use:
Skills Over Pills: Practical stress management techniques
Farm Over Pharma: How lifestyle factors affect mental wellbeing
Choose one tactic that matches your teen's interests and personality. A sports-minded teen might connect with physical strategies, while a creative teen might respond to artistic outlets.
RECOGNIZE WHEN MORE HELP IS NEEDED
Some challenges require additional support. Consider reaching out if you notice:
Persistent changes in mood, sleep or appetite
Withdrawal from family, friends or activities they used to enjoy
Declining school performance
Increasing isolation or secretiveness
Signs of substance use
Start with your family doctor, school counselor, or call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
REMEMBER
In today's world, a single counterfeit pill can contain enough fentanyl to be dangerous or deadly. Every coping skill your teen develops creates a layer of protection against this risk. You don't need to be perfect at teaching these skills; you just need to be consistent. The most important thing is to start today—before they face a moment of crisis when these skills could make all the difference.
References: Scott Hadland, MD, Chief of Adolescent Medicine, Mass General for Children/Harvard Medical School; Lisa Damour, PhD, Teen Parenting Expert, Best Selling Author, Co-Host of Ask Lisa Podcast
