What to do if you learn your child IS using substances
When a parent first discovers their child is using substances, they are often uncertain how to move forward. The following tips and resources will help to get you started on assessing the situation and helping your child:
Don’t dismiss your concerns. If you discover your child is using substances, it is important to address the issue in a timely manner; today’s substances are more dangerous than ever before and can have devastating and long-lasting impacts on youth.
Take a breath. Discovering that your child is experimenting with or using substances can feel overwhelming and heartbreaking. Sometimes it can lead to disbelief, anger, shame, and other complex feelings. The mix of difficult feelings is understandable. Before reacting, it’s important to pause and take a breath. Parents often want to fix things right away, but rushing in without understanding can unintentionally push a child further away.
Educate yourself about how substances impact the developing brain. Building a deeper understanding of substance use and the challenges your child is facing not only helps you respond with compassion, but also gives you a stronger foundation to support and motivate them through this challenge. Your child may not act the way you would expect them to if they are using substances, and knowing how substances impact the brain can help you know what to expect as you move forward. Resource: How to Talk to Your Kids About Drugs | Partnership to End Addiction
Build a safe space. It’s important for children to feel safe when sharing a problem with parents as it builds trust, keeps communication open, and supports emotional well-being. When kids know they won’t be judged or punished harshly, they’re more likely to be honest and seek help when needed. This helps them develop problem-solving skills, learn healthy ways to handle emotions, and stay safe in difficult situations. Resource: How Do I Make Conversations About Drug Use Feel Safe | The New Drug Talk
Get the full picture. If you haven’t already, start by talking with your child to better understand what happened and why they chose to use a substance. Resources:What To Do When You Think Something’s Wrong | The New Drug Talk, What To Do If You Are Concerned Your Child Might Be Using Substances | The New Drug Talk
Sometimes a young person tries something once—maybe out of curiosity or because friends were experimenting—and a supportive, ongoing conversation at home can help them get back on track.
If your child shares that they’re using substances more regularly, or if you’re seeing ongoing signs of use, it’s important to get support. And if you’re not sure where things stand, it’s always okay to err on the side of caution and reach out for help.
Because today’s substances are so powerful and unpredictable, it’s more important than ever to trust your gut. If your child says they aren’t using substances—or insists it isn’t a problem—and something still feels off to you, don’t dismiss that instinct. Changes in behavior may be a sign that substance use is already affecting their judgment – affecting them more than they’re able to admit or recognize.
Reach out to professionals for help. Substance use is a fairly common parenting challenge. There are professionals in your community who are experienced with helping youth who can help guide you through this challenging time or refer you to experts who can help.
Your child’s pediatrician and/or pediatric counseling provider
Your local school counseling office or school-based health clinic
Your child’s counselor/therapist, if they have one
Investigate what resources are available through your healthcare insurance
Consider finding a counselor/therapist for you, as a parent supporting a child who is struggling. A parent coach who is trained in helping parents deal with their child’s substance use may also be helpful.
211 Info- Empowers Oregon and SW Washington communities by helping people identify, navigate, and connect with the local resources they need. Phone: 211 or toll free: 866-698-6155 (language interpreters available)
Oregon Health Authority (OHA) Child and Family Behavioural Health Website- Lists all in-patient adolescent recovery clinics in the state of Oregon (see "Treatment" tab).
Oregon Health Authority (OHA) Substance Use Disorders Services Directory (PDF) Directory of Oregon professionals providing substance use services for each county in the state.
Recovery Network of Oregon- Recovery Network of Oregon is a directory of support services, providers, peers, and meetings designed to assist people with their recovery from drugs and alcohol.
Support for parents who are helping their kids through substance misuse. Sometimes the most knowledgeable and understanding people are the parents who have walked the path.
Hopestream- support, education and resources for parents of teens and young adults struggling with substance misuse and mental health challenges.
Educate yourself on the current drug landscape. Drugs have changed since you were a teenager, and knowing what substances today’s kids have access to can help.
Fake Pills/Fentanyl
The New Drug Talk
Cannabis
Vaping
Other- Kratom and Tianeptine are unregulated and highly addictive, and can easily be obtained at gas stations, corner markets, and other stores. Parents should keep an eye out for these and other unregulated substances.
Note: Just because your child is using substances doesn’t mean your child has a substance use disorder. However, finding help for a child using substances can be tricky, and some of the most effective advice and most knowledgeable people come from the community of people who have helped family members through addiction. Do not ignore organizations that support people dealing with addiction; they have some of the best resources available today. There is a fine line between youth drug experimentation and substance use disorders, and you want to prevent your child from going over that line if at all possible.
Getting help early builds resilience and can prevent teens from turning to substances to cope with emotional pain—an especially critical safeguard in today's world of unprecedented drug risks.
For additional information:
What To Do When You Think Something’s Wrong | The New Drug Talk
What To Do If You Are Concerned Your Child Might Be Using Substances | The New Drug Talk
How to Talk to Your Kids About Drugs | Partnership to End Addiction
Maybe add a sidebar to help convince parents to act with a sense of urgency:
Youth substance use is riskier today than ever before. If you discover your teenage child is using substances, it may be tempting to dismiss it as a rite of passage, or something today’s teens do. Did you know:
The teen brain is in the process of maturing. In general, it's more focused on rewards and taking risks than the adult brain. At the same time, teenagers push parents for greater freedom as they begin to explore their personalities. That can be a challenging tightrope for parents. Teens who experiment with drugs and other substances put their health and safety at risk. The teen brain is particularly vulnerable to being rewired by substances that overload the reward circuits in the brain.
The younger someone starts using substances, the higher their risk for problems (28% who start before 15 vs. 4% who start after 21). If you can delay substance use until after the legal age of 21, you can significantly decrease the chances your child will have substance issues later in life.
The earlier you get help with substance use challenges, the higher the chance you can avoid long-term consequences.
References: Olivia Rae Wright, MD; Jill Pearson, MD; Laura Murph, MD
